


say it's all in my head (i remember what you said)

by ms_scarlet



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: 2x09, F/M, Missing Scene, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, a little angsty because I'm a ho for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22961347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms_scarlet/pseuds/ms_scarlet
Summary: "What am I doing here, Elizabeth?"Beth's honestly not sure how Rio expects her to answer him in any way coherently when he's looking at her like that. With all of that ferocity and focus honed to a diamond point behind hooded eyes fixed directly, entirely on her. The barest hint of a smile lurks in the curve of his lip as he waits for her answer.She's babbling about bread for god's sake, why he thinks she has any idea what will come out of her mouth next, she doesn't know.--What if That Scene in 209 didn't fade to black? Cuts before the follow-up scene because I am not a monster.
Relationships: Beth Boland/Rio
Comments: 43
Kudos: 217





	say it's all in my head (i remember what you said)

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahahaha I have no explanation for this, I don't even know what’s happening anymore.
> 
> Title is a slightly adapted lyric from Take My Heart by Birdy

"What am I doing here, Elizabeth?"

Beth's honestly not sure how Rio expects her to answer him in any way coherently when he's looking at her like that. With all of that ferocity and focus honed to a diamond point behind hooded eyes fixed directly, entirely on her. The barest hint of a smile lurks in the curve of his lip as he waits for her answer.

She's babbling about bread for god's sake, why he thinks she has any idea what will come out of her mouth next, she doesn't know.

Her skin is on fire, and she has a vague passing thought that she should check the thermostat because this heat making her flush can't be just her, him, _them._

She swallows hard, and she knows he sees it from the way that curve tugs just a touch closer to a smile. The butterflies in her stomach that took up residence back in the bar when she made the split-second decision to do this suddenly feel more like bats. She forces them down, summoning every last inch of her courage.

"Your cut, it's, um. It's in my room."

He's definitely smiling now, a lazy, confident grin that turns her blood to honey. He nods slow and deliberate but makes no move to leave the kitchen, and she sees how it's going to be. He's letting her drive, anything that happens here today is going to be her call and hers alone and that knowledge settles heavy and warm in her belly, making her thighs clench and oh my god, she's _wet_ . She can _feel_ it. 

She didn't even know that was _possible._

This is- she's never felt this way before, not even way back in the beginning with Dean when she was young and everything was new and- No. She doesn't want to think about any of that right now.

If she's only going to let herself do this one last time, she's not going to waste a single scrap of it.

She swallows again- her throat is so dry- before heading out of the kitchen towards her room. She hears Rio follow her- the house is so _quiet,_ it's never this quiet, this still. It makes her feel like everything is holding its breath, waiting to see what happens next.

_You and me both._

It takes an eternity to get to her room. Has her house always been this big? Surely she would've noticed before that the hall is a mile long. 

When she steps aside to let him in- into her _bedroom_ where her _bed_ is, a fact that's never seemed as significant as it does right now- he leans in the tiniest bit closer than he needs to as he passes by. She can feel his eyes on her face but can't quite bring herself to look at him. She can smell him, though, and can't stop herself from taking a deep breath. 

Since it's the last time, she can admit to herself that she's always loved his what? Soap? Cologne? She's guessing cologne; he's too meticulously put together for it to not be intentional. Whatever it is, it's spicy and intoxicating. Light enough that it isn't overpowering but deep enough to linger just a little. She'd kept catching traces of it in her hair on the way home after that night at the bar and okay, yeah, maybe that was the real reason she didn't wash her hair the next day. Not exhaustion like she'd said at the time. 

He crosses the room, turning to look at her when she closes the door, a silent question in the angle of his head. 

"It's just habit," she says. 

He nods, something new written across his face, something she's never seen before. He's always so sure of himself and everything around him, but this? This is almost tentative. Open in a way she's surprised he's letting her see.

He leans back against the armoire, and the moment stretches taunt, as thin and fragile and iridescent as a soap bubble. 

God, why is it so _quiet?_

Her heels are as loud as thunder against the hardwood when she turns towards the bed and drops her purse on the floor. Why had she chosen a floral bedspread? It seems so...dowdy now that she's really looking at it. Rio probably has crisp white sheets and a matching duvet. She doesn't know why she's suddenly so sure of that, but she is. 

_Keep it together, Beth._

Her pulse is pounding so hard. Does it show? Can he see it?

She reaches for the buttons of her coat and pauses, looking up at him. If she sees even the smallest trace of a smirk she's done, she's not doing this. It's scary enough as it is without him teasing her and if he-

He's not smirking. 

He's holding perfectly still and watching her with a complicated intensity that makes her feel warm and maybe a little more brave. He's watching her like it matters to him what happens next, and it makes her heart twist because she hasn't told him this is it yet, but that's stupid because it's not like he'd even care as long as they're paid up.

She wonders if he knows that he's the only person she's been with besides Dean. If she thinks making- no. Having sex- no, that's not right either. _Fucking_ \- how sad that it took her three tries to even think it- in a public bathroom counts, anyway. 

They haven't talked about their pasts. Up until recently, when Beth told him about Dean taking the kids, they've mostly avoided anything that would come within shouting distance of friendly conversation. But he's smart, scarily so, and he knows enough about her that she assumes he must've figured it out or at least suspects. 

Beth drops her coat on the floor. 

She brushes her hair out of her face, trying to push her rising panic away with it. She thought that was a pretty clear invitation, but Rio's still across the room, making no move to come closer. 

Oh _god,_ what if she completely misread this? What if he's just waiting for her to get on with it, to hand over his money so he can go on about his business? This is so stupid, she's so stupid. What was she _thinking?_ That a quickie in a bar bathroom with a woman so undersexed she's got a- what had Annie called it? A _raisin cave_ down there would blow him away and bring him back for more?

She'd seen the kind of girl he goes for that day in the parking lot, all small and slender and cool in a way Beth isn't even in the same galaxy as with her post-childbirth hips and her minivan and her floral prints. She should never have done this, this was such a mistake. All that's left is to try and find a way to back out gracefully while she has a shred of dignity left to her name. 

Rio slowly tilts his head, his eyes somehow going more focused and her pulse jumps. 

Right. She's in the driver's seat. This is her call. So what does she want?

_Rio._

She's abruptly, exquisitely aware of her body in a way she's not sure she's ever been before. How her skin feels tight and hot beneath her clothes, how her nipples are so alert she can feel them pressed against the inside of her bra with every breath she takes, how between her legs feels heavy and hot and wet and _aches_. 

She braces a hand against the bedside table and bends down to take off her booties. 

When she straightens up, he's still across the room, watching her with the intensity of a predator sizing up its prey. It sends a shiver down her spine and heat spreads through her belly. 

Then he looks at her feet and smiles the faintest of smiles. It's almost...fond? And that’s how Beth realizes she's standing there in mismatched socks because of course, she is. 

Well, it's either a turn-off, or it doesn't matter. Only one way to know for sure. 

Those bats are back in her stomach, and there's no suppressing them anymore. She steels herself and steps towards him, everything in her tight and aching and trembling with a dizzying combination of nerves and want. 

For a single, breathless moment, she stands in the middle of the room, alone and terrified. 

Then Rio wets his lips and comes towards her, moving with that languid grace she's never been able to look away from even before she had any idea why that could be. 

All of the fear collapses like a dying star, sending a supernova of relief and molten heat zinging through her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Her head swims, and every cell in her body feels like it's leaning towards him- like she's made of magnets on a molecular level and he's the lodestone. 

He gently pushes her bangs off of her forehead, slowly running his fingertip down the side of her face, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He tilts his head towards hers and stops, going no further than halfway, leaving it up to her to close the distance. 

She lets her eyes fall shut as she leans into him and tentatively touches her mouth to his for the first time. 

His lips are soft, softer than she thought they would be. His hands were rough, calloused, and apparently she'd expected that to carry throughout all of him, but isn't it so like Rio to surprise her? He's an endless study of contradictions, and she'll miss putting together all of the different puzzle pieces of him. His breath is warm on her face as she breaks away. 

She kisses him again, still soft but a little surer this time, and he kisses her back. 

He pulls back, and she keeps her eyes closed for a moment, savoring the taste of him, rich and heady on her lips. 

When her eyes flutter open, he's looking down at her with something almost like frustration. His forehead's creased just a little as though there's a complicated equation he's working out in his head. He must solve it because he licks his lip and his face abruptly clears, his focus sharpening an instant before he ducks his head definitively into her space.

His nose collides with her cheekbone as he angles his mouth to better capture hers, the sudden ferocity knocking her back half a step before his arms come up to catch her and crush her to him. Her hands come up clutching at his shoulders, his neck, his chin, fingers fluttering against the wings of the bird at his throat. 

His tongue slides across her lips, a question she answers by parting them and greeting him with her own. The taste of him explodes across her tongue, awakening a million tastebuds and nerve endings she never had any clue she possessed. Beth goes up on her toes, pressing closer, licking into his mouth, hungry for more. Her breath pants and she hears someone whimper, it takes her a second to realize it's her. 

He gasps against her mouth, and she greedily swallows the sound. She fumbles with the buttons at the collar of his shirt, her fingers clumsy and thick. He slides his hands down her back, pressing her into him as he rolls his hips into hers, and she can feel him hard against her. 

The feeling stops her up short, and she breaks away just far enough to catch her breath. She stops trying to unbutton his shirt, she'd only got one undone anyway. She stares at the buttons, petting his chest a little, suddenly shy and unable to meet his eyes. 

She's only just kissed him, and already her mouth feels nearly unbearably swollen. 

Rio gently cups her jaw, his thumb dragging lightly across her cheekbone. She looks up at him, wetting her lips, and he's so close, staring down at her mouth with hot, dark eyes. His eyes flick up to hers, and whatever he sees there has him sliding his hand into her hair, and she goes up on her toes again as he pulls her mouth up to his. 

He kisses her slower this time, less frantic than before but not hesitant like the first time. The slide of his lips against her is deliberate and deeper with each pass. His hand flexes against her hip but doesn't pull her in.

Her fingers go back to the buttons of his shirt, and this time she's able to undo enough of them to expose a deep slice of his chest. He ducks his head to press a kiss to the hollow between her jaw and her ear, licking at her earlobe, along the shell of her ear, burying his nose in her hair. She slides trembling fingers under the collar of his shirt, marveling at how smooth and hot the skin she finds there is, tracing the delicate lines of his collarbones.

He kisses his way down her neck, biting lightly and making her gasp. She slides her hands down, popping open more buttons as she goes. His hips jerk against hers as she runs her fingertips across his chest, letting her nails drag lightly over his nipples.

He brings his mouth back to hers as his hands go to her waist, bunching up her shirt to slide under and up. He puts her to shame as he makes quick work of the buttons, and from underneath no less. Spurred by the competition, she flicks open the last of his and then grips his collar, using it as leverage to pull herself close, pressing her mouth harder against his.

 _More_ . She wants _more._

Cool air meets overheated skin, making her jolt as he pushes her shirt off her shoulders. They get tangled up when she doesn't want to let go long enough for him to take it off her entirely, and he laughs softly into her mouth as they struggle. She finally relents and lets go of him long enough for him to pull her shirt off and drop it on the floor. 

She slides her hands under his shirt and around his back, clutching him to her. He's hot and hard and smooth against the soft skin of her belly. His hands stroke up her sides, the slight friction from the callouses on his fingers causing each muscle he touches to clench painfully tight. A part of her wants to back away, to take this opportunity to really look at him, but the rest of her doesn’t want to let go for even a second.

He finds the band of her bra, and a sharp wave of panic breaks through the fog. He's going to take it off, and her boobs are going to hit her belly button. 

She pulls back, gasping a little as she breaks the kiss. "Don't- Wait-"

"Hmm?" He murmurs, chasing her mouth, his fingers sliding under the clasp, knuckles pressing against the knobs of her spine. 

"I don't-" She pulls back further, dropping her hands to his elbows and pushing slightly, trying to dislodge him. 

He stops and pulls back, brow furrowing for a moment as he studies her face, and Beth shifts her weight uncomfortably when it clears and understanding takes its place. 

"We'll leave it on, yeah?" He ducks down and kisses the curve of her breast, just above the delicate, lacy edge- she put on a good bra this morning, go her. "Sexy."

She laughs a little and buries her face in the curve where his neck meets his shoulder. 

He's being kind, kinder than she'd thought he would be, but it's too late. Now her mind's racing to catalog every crease, every dimple, every soft spot that wasn't there the last time she took her clothes off in front of a man for the first time. She swears the Caesarian scar on her belly twinges and god, she can't even remember what her vagina used to look like before-

"Hey, ma." He hooks a finger under her chin and gently tilts her face up until she meets his eyes. Then he drops his hand to cup her breast and lift it, his thumb pressing lightly over the lace covering her nipple and her hips buck involuntarily making him grin like a cat, lazy and sure. "It's sexy."

"You're sexy," he breathes against her mouth as he bends down to kiss her, and her eyes fall shut as she lets herself get lost in the feel of his mouth against hers. 

He slides his other hand up her back, fisting it in her hair and tugging the exact right amount to deepen the angle of the kiss and make everything in her violently contract with pure, concentrated lust. 

Her hands fist on his biceps, gripping his shirt. She tugs, twisting and shuffling back towards the bed. He catches on immediately and walks her back until the back of her knees hits the edge of the mattress, and she reflexively sits down. 

She looks up at him, eyes wide, and her hands go to the button of her jeans. She silently prays that her luck continues and that she put on an at least not embarrassing pair of panties this morning when she thought this would be nothing but another day she had to trudge through, adrift and slightly lost without her kids to anchor her. 

Rio drops down into a crouch and knocks her hands away, looking into her eyes for what must be a million years as he undoes the zipper, the loud rasp cutting through the weighted silence in the room. Beth leans back on her elbows and tilts her hips to give him better access as he slowly pulls her jeans down. She's wearing a pair of purple polka dot panties, and while they don't match her blue bra, they're newish and the elastic is still good, so she's calling it a win.

When he pulls her pants all the way off of her, he sits back on his heels for a second, looking down, and she can see his jaw shift back and forth.

Right as she realizes he's looking at those goddamn socks again, he looks back up at her, and his face is soft, something like affection lurking in it, but that can't be right. 

The expression is gone when she blinks, and before she can wonder if she imagined it, he's up and prowling over her, driving her up the bed and sliding a thigh between hers. Beth can't stop herself from grinding down against it as she tilts her chin up to kiss him. 

Keeping herself propped up on an elbow so she doesn't break the kiss, she reaches for the button on his jeans, hooking her fingers into the waist of his pants, trying and failing to get them undone one-handed. 

He pulls back, kneeling up over her, his big hands with those long fingers- she'd realized she'd never fully appreciated them when she'd finally got them on her- going to the button. He pauses and arches an eyebrow just so, a silent question she answers with a fairly frantic nod. He grins and undoes the button, pulling back further to kick off his boots and pull his pants all the way off. She clenches her thighs together- and oh, she's so _wet,_ she can feel it in her panties against her flushed and swollen skin. 

When Rio comes back to her, leaning over her, balanced on his knees and one hand braced the mattress beside her. She can see the long, hard line of him in his black briefs, and she remembers how big he'd felt inside her, how she'd felt the ghost of him for days afterward.

He strokes her hair back with one of his long fingers, trailing it down, down, down her face, following it with his gaze across her collarbone, down the valley between her breasts, flicking the little bow on the band as he goes.

Then his hand is gliding across her stomach, making it jump. Beth is fully panting now, and his smile, already filthy, goes absolutely feral when he cups her over her panties and feels how wet she already is. 

"Damn, ma." He bends down to run his tongue along the line dividing lace and skin across the curve of her breast and then lower, finding her nipple through the fabric and biting down just so. Her hips buck, and she whimpers as she grinds against his hand. Her hands flutter from his shoulders to his biceps to the bedspread, clutching and releasing, as helpless as the rest of her against the onslaught of feeling rushing through her body. 

It takes her a minute to realize his mouth isn't at her breast anymore. He's kissing his way down, following the trail his fingers blazed and that there's something sharp and panicked rising underneath the thick fog of want in her head as she realizes where he's going, what he intends to do. 

"Wait, no, stop." She props herself up on her elbows and squirms away from him a little. 

He stops and looks up at her, eyes dark and hooded.

"I don't want...I don't- I don't like that, okay?"

He cocks his head and studies her for a minute in which Beth discovers that, unfortunately, it's not actually possible for her to blush so hard she implodes into nothing, though she's pretty sure she comes close.

"Don't like it, or no one ain't ever done it right?"

That's an unfairly reasonable question, and Beth bites her lip, considering. Rio waits patiently, his weight warm and heavy between her legs, seemingly content to stay exactly where he is as long as she needs. 

She thinks about how she's never felt anything even close to this before in her life, her pulse pounding and every inch of her skin electric and alive. She feels like a soft breeze in the right place might be all it takes for her to come entirely apart.

She thinks about those big hands and silver tongue and how he clearly knows what to do with them. She thinks about how hard she came in that bathroom, his hand in her hair holding her bent over that tiny sink, how she'd never have expected that kind of hold to be a thing that did it for her. She thinks about how he'd seemed to just know what she likes like she's a book only he knows how to read. 

She wonders what else he knows she'll like.

Then she thinks about how this is the last time, the only time she's allowed to do this if she wants her kids back and does her best to ignore how it feels like something cracks in her chest when she considers that.

She nods permission and the look he gives her should be illegal, it is _obscene._

Then he's kissing her navel, right above the line of her panties, laughing a bit at the other little bow- how about that, she sort of coordinates- before taking it in his teeth and tugging and she stops thinking entirely because she's turned liquid. It's so _much_ , and he hasn't even touched her yet.

He hooks his fingers in her panties and slides them slowly down her legs, the opposite of the way he'd ripped them off of her before, and she wriggles a little, helping him get them all the way off and kicking them away. 

When he comes back to her, his eyes are nearly all the way black, and she resumes her death grip on the bedspread as he wraps his hands around her thighs and pulls them up and apart, opening her up to him. He bends over her and puffs a warm breath over her throbbing skin. He runs his tongue delicately down the landing strip the waxer had left behind- thank you extended credit card balance- stopping just short of where everything in her had concentrated to a fiery inferno, blazing so hot it hurts. 

The noise she makes is so guttural and animal and desperate she doesn't even recognize it as her at first.

"Patience, darlin'," he smiles against the inside of her thigh, sucking a small hickey into the pale skin. "I got you."

Then he licks her, one long stroke, his tongue flat and firm, before circling once around her clit and sucking. She comes all the way off the bed, only his hands on her thighs holding her down, with something that sounds embarrassingly close to a howl. She feels the vibration of his laugh against her skin, and she'd maybe have been bothered by that under normal circumstances, but whatever he's doing with his mouth and oh _god,_ his _tongue_ leaves her no room to think, only to feel. 

He hums encouragingly when her thighs fall open a little further, testing the limits of how far she can spread them, and glides a finger along her, dipping just slightly into the wetness pooling there while he works her clit with his tongue. 

She realizes in a flash that she might have miscalculated, this may actually kill her. She distantly thinks that the girls would be so proud of her if this is how she went and laughs a little, making Rio stop what he's doing and look up at her, and oh my _god_ , his _mouth_ is _wet._ With _her._

"Oh, I'm sorry. You got somethin' else you need to be doin'?" He asks, pouting a little in mock insult. 

"No, I- I'm sorry, I just- I-" Her voice is husky and breathless, and she loses words entirely when, without warning, he slides a finger all the way into her. 

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He crooks his finger just so, and Beth sees literal stars for a second.

He goes back to what he was doing, stoking the fire higher and hotter with truly admirable dedication and focus. He pulls out of her, and Beth's protesting whine cuts off abruptly when he slides two fingers right back in, stretching her just right and sucking hard on her clit at the same time.

Beth explodes. Like, she's pretty sure, at that moment, pieces of her are scattered across the universe. 

When she comes back to herself, he's looking at her, two fingers still buried inside of her, with the smuggest, most shit eating, cat got the canary grin she has ever seen on his face. 

"Guess we know you like it, huh?"

She flails around, grabbing the first thing her hand hits- one of the throw pillows she'd embroidered while on bed rest with Emma- and throws it at him. He dodges and slides his fingers out of her, making her gasp, and then he- oh god, then he _licks her off of them._

He looks at her steadily the entire time, making a show of thoroughly working his tongue up and down, making sure he gets all of her. When he sucks them clean, his cheeks hollow out, throwing his already knife-edge cheekbones into sharp relief, and she contracts so hard, so abruptly, it _hurts._

Driven by pure need, she sits up and reaches for him, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him up to her. Her mouth meets his, their teeth clicking together in her enthusiastic rush. The taste of her on his lips, his tongue, has her legs coming up and wrapping around his hips, and she grinds herself against him. 

Rio buries his hands in her hair, tugging again- oh my _god_ , she loves that _so much,_ she had no idea _-_ and groans into her mouth. The combination of light pulling, the low, hoarse sound, and the feel of him, big and hard against her, sends fireworks cascading up and down her legs and spine and her hips buck hard against him.

Beth lets go just enough to frantically shove at his briefs, trying to get them off as fast as she can. He pulls back and slides them off, and she's reaching for him, wrapping her hands around him as he springs free, hard and ready. She doesn't even know what she's doing, she just knows that she has to touch him, but he doesn't seem to mind if the way he cups the back of her head and crushes her mouth to his is anything to go by. 

Then she's lining him up against her, rubbing the tip against her clit, and now he's the one panting as she circles her hips once, twice, driven by some dormant, primal instinct she didn't even know she possessed. 

He wraps a hand around her wrist, holding her still, and she lets go, completely disoriented. Was it- did she do something wrong?

"Condom," he says, voice thick, and she blinks at him stupidly. 

Right. Condom. Important. 

Her brain struggles to reboot, she can't remember the last time she'd bought condoms. If she has any, they are almost definitely expired. If this is the thing that stops this, she is absolutely going to cry. She can already feel the hysteria building in her chest at the thought.

But Rio's sliding off of her and reaching into the pocket of his discarded pants, pulling out a blessed foil package. Then he's back, bracing himself over her and tearing it open with his teeth. She takes it from him, and he lets her, closing his eyes as she rolls it on. She squeezes a little when she gets to the base, and he groans, dropping his forehead to her shoulder as she lines him up. 

Then he's pushing inside her, bigger than his fingers, but she's wet- _so_ wet- that he slides right in all the way and the stretch of him burns so exactly right. When he bottoms out, he whispers _Elizabeth_ into her collarbone, and that's all it takes, suddenly she's coming so hard she can't see, can't hear, can only feel.

Heat crashes over her in wave after heavy, golden wave. She's shaking and pulsing around him, and his arms are trembling a little as he holds himself completely still, letting her come apart all over him.

She's been thinking about this for ages, since the bathroom- before, maybe since the day she met him if she's completely honest- and the relief of having him inside her again- _one last time-_ nearly sends her over the edge again. 

Beth doesn't even realize she's crying until he's kissing the tears away, impossibly gentle, and murmuring soft shushing noises into her skin.

He rolls his hips into hers, a smooth, deep thrust that lights everything in her up like a Christmas tree. When he moves again, she matches him, arching her back a little to get a new angle. Then they're off, a push and pull of movement, both of them trying to take the lead and she laughs breathlessly into his mouth because it's so right, so them. It's unexpectedly sweet and a little awkward and so, so good, and then he grabs her hips and pins her down and _oh-_

_Oh, oh, oh._

Rio slams into her again and again and again, and she knows she's going to feel this in every inch of her body tomorrow, but she doesn't care, she’s glad actually. If he stops, if he lets up even a little bit, she'll kill him. She's gasping and moaning and grabbing at him, digging her nails into his shoulders, his arms, his chest, his hips, trying anything she can to get closer to him, bring him further into her. 

Something is building deep inside of her, something warm and sharp spreading through her consuming everything in its path. She's grateful now for the quiet of the room that felt so terrifying before because it means she doesn't miss a single sound. His breath is coming in harsh gasps, and she's making these mewling kitten noises with each thrust, and the slap of skin on skin is so _much_ -

His hips are stuttering a little now as he starts to lose his rhythm, and he lets go of her to prop himself up just enough to reach between them and stroke her clit in rough, tight circles. 

He's looking at her, intent and focused, watching every sensation ripple across her face like a hawk.

When he scrapes the edge of his fingernail ever so slightly against her, she’s flung over the edge like she's been shot from a cannon. She gasps his name as she comes, and for as blown as his pupils already are, she can still see them blow wider still, swallowing the deep brown entirely in a sea of black. His hips jerk against her once, twice, and she feels him come, pulsing inside of her and sending bolts of aftershock along her shorted out nervous system.

He holds himself over her for a moment, the sudden stillness in the wake of furious movement crystallizing the air around them, between them, and his chest is heaving as he looks down at her, something raw in his eyes that she's never seen before. She runs a finger gently through the sweat beading at his temple, trailing it down his face, over that sharp, beautiful cheekbone that she'd never let herself touch despite her fingers nearly aching to do so every time the light would hit them just right. 

Something tender unfolds in her chest when his eyes flutter shut, and she stretches her neck to kiss him softly. 

The breath he lets out when her lips touch his is more like a sigh, and she feels him let go, relaxing muscle by muscle against her. 

She loses time for a bit as they kiss, a lazy play of lips and tongue as he softens inside of her. 

After a while, he pulls out, and the air is harsh and cold where the sweat is drying on her skin without the shelter of his body to keep her warm. He shucks off the condom and ties it, tossing it into the little trash can next to her dresser. The part of her brain that's always thinking ahead makes a mental note to empty it before the kids come home tonight, and for a second, she hates herself for remembering anything exists beyond this moment. 

Then Rio's back, a question in his eyes as he hovers over her, and she wiggles a bit to the side, an invitation in the space she makes beside her. He drops down next to her, stretching out an arm above her head, wrapping around her shoulder as she curls into him. She rests a hand on his chest over his heart, feeling a vibration rumble through him that if she didn't know any better, she'd say was a purr. 

The silence between them stretches, and she studies the angle of the light coming in through the window. It's probably a little before one, she guesses, which gives her at least four, five, maybe even six hours before the kids will be back once they've all been picked up from their various extracurriculars and gone back to Dean's mom's to collect their stuff. She should-

Rio's arm tightens around her, and he presses a finger into the crease between her eyebrows. 

"Stop thinkin'." His voice is husky, more so than usual, and when she looks up at him, that affection is back around the edges of his face. Her throat closes, her aching heart and bitter tears fighting for dominance as she remembers that this is it, this is the last time she's going to see him.

She nods, not trusting herself to say anything without crying and drops her head back to his chest, nearly losing the rest of composure when she feels him press a kiss into the top of her head. 

How incredibly unfair it is that she would only now discover this new, soft side of how they could be together when she has to give him up completely. 

She brought him here, thinking it would be like the bathroom: hot and fast, relief and release, and then she'd send him on his way. She wasn't naive enough to think they would part as friends, but she'd figured they could at least come to some kind of mutual understanding. 

This, though? This is going to be so much harder to turn away from. 

Rio wraps his other arm around her, gathering her closer and stroking a hand gently up and down her spine. Beth feels tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, and she squeezes them shut before they can collect enough to fall. 

How was she supposed to know it could be like this between them?

She can feel the beat of his heart, still pounding underneath her cheek and concentrates on keeping her breathing even, not letting herself sob. 

She has at least four, maybe five, possibly six hours. She can stay like this, with him a little longer. She knows it's horrible of her to let this go on longer, when he's being this soft, almost even, dare she say, vulnerable with her but she still can't bring herself to tell him to stop. 

It's been so long since someone's held her like this- like she's precious- and made her feel warm and safe and sheltered, and she feels the exact moment her heart cracks open and shatters into pieces in her chest.

How is she supposed to give this- _him-_ up?

Beth burrows deeper into Rio's arms, and he hums a little as he tightens them around her. 

She has four, or five, or maybe even six hours to figure it out. 

It'll have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, maybe I’m a little bit of a monster. Please forgive me I am incredibly not in control of myself right now.


End file.
